Source: 
by Ely Culbertson
Unfortunately for my readers, I tell jokes badly and dialect stories atrociously, so they will just have to bear with me in this case. It seems that a gentleman named Tony was asked to make up a contract foursome. His degree of expertness was unknown to the other players, but they did not long remain in ignorance.
On the first hand Tony responded with one no trump to his partner’s opening diamond bid. Partner, with a very good hand, raised to two, which was the final contract. Tony managed to take only six tricks, which was not unnatural considering that he had only one jack in his hand.
“When I bidd a no trump I gotta nothin’—donna raise me,” he announced to his partner.
A few hands later Tony’s partner, again opened the bidding with one diamond, and this time Tony responded with two no trump. The Opening, bidder raised to three, the contract was doubled and penalized four tricks. When the last card was played Tony glared ferociously at his partner and snarled:
“I told you when bidda no trump I gotta nothin’.
This time I bidda two no trump, and that mean t gotta absolute nothing!
Why you raise, huh?”