Source: IBPA Bulletins
This is a true story, true characters, true hands. It happened in a small bridge club of ours in the big city of Istanbul. We meet in this club late afternoons and play rubber bridge to rescue ourselves from the day’s stress, traffic jams, etc. None of us are bridge experts. We do make mistakes that are well recognised by other players at the table who also make the same mistakes.
Though the story may sound dramatic, we believe fights at the bridge table (especially at rubber bridge) are within the nature of this game, unless people hurt or bear grudge to each other. Game is over, fight is over. Next day we shall play new hands, but with the same people. Almost all the characters of our rubber bridge players are very colourful as if we have picked up from different parts of the world and gathered in our club.
Let me introduce you some of these outstanding characters:
“Operator” Aydan: he is a doctor and makes all kind of surgeries. However, his main operations are at the bridge table and are dreadful to his partners, recovering to the opponents. A narrative says is the real murder of BABA.
Baba (Papa): Died two years ago but still remembered after each disaster around our rubber bridge tables. Before his death he was the eldest member and we were all expecting something bad would happen to him when we saw him shouting all the time. His face became red as blood and every day he went back home, we doubted he would come back next day afternoon. However, he did so, for more than three years and without losing the tempo. Baba played very simple bridge and the only convention he used was the Sputnik double. We could not even convince him to use Stayman and Jacoby transfers. He had a standard comment on almost all hands played: “Let the dogs piss on the bridge you play”. “
Excuse” Osman: Another candidate for responsibility for Baba’s passing away. Works on textiles and finds all kinds of excuses after every mistake he makes. So many mistakes and so many reasons impossible to list here. Once Baba told us that Excuse Osman is preparing and memorising his apologies in advance before coming to the club. Otherwise to be that much “creative” at the rubber table.
“Repairer”Deniz: Besides rubber, he plays only afternoon duplicates where women are in majority. He is the very undisciplined bridge player of our club, a sort of guy what knows the right thing to do but always does the wrong one. Maybe the most criticised character and he accepts all the criticism cheerfully, including the standard one, “Dogs piss on … “.
“Comment” Recep: Mainly kibitzing and not playing. After a hand is played he comments how defenders would have done better or declarer could have made the contract irritating all the players such as indicating a lead from a suit holding AQxx was necessary while partner has overcalled in another suit or telling the finesse must be taken other way holding KJ9 in dummy and Axx in hand. Still these irritating comments are wrong most of the time even though they are made after the play and seeing all four hands. His comments only help, changing the direction of anger to another destination (himself) so that the guilty player can take a breath.
The day before:
As if Azrael, the angel of death, split his power equally between “Operator” Aydan and “Excuse” Osman, the cards became spears, Baba was the victim:
1 – 
and a minor (forgets playing with Baba. No conventions…)
2 – Don’t move!
3 – Respect to Baba. Besides, partner doubled and he has three aces!
Repairer, on lead, pulled one ace and the other … picked up the wrong one and led it – the ace of hearts. Playing in a slam contract and missing all four aces, declarer, Operator Aydan, conceded only the ace of trumps. Baba took his club ace and noted three more aces in his partner’s hand, none of them took a trick.
This was the first strike. Baba was shaken.
Second one came soon after, changing partners and Baba taking Operator Aydan against the Repairer and Mr. Excuse. They were playing Chicago – 4 deals and then change partners – and the first three boards the Repairer went down in a cold slam, lifted Osman’s penalty double to five of a minor and lost 800 instead of gaining 500 and he took another action on the third boards at five level with a passed hand. The pressure on Osman was too much. Everybody expected mistakes from him but the Repairer got all of them leaving none to Mr. Excuse. Final board, enough is enough, he said. All vulnerable, he was first to bid before Baba and opened 6 without looking at his cards.
Excuse Osman still plays in our club and to this day nobody, including himself, knows what made him open 6 in the first seat and without looking at his hand. Maybe he was sick of being sold out and wanted his partner, Repairer, to lose. We never heard him making rude and wild bids before. We all admit that insane bid is just contrary to his character. Excuse Osman committed only the errors that he found reasonable excuse. Not this one. Maybe for the first time in his life, Baba did not speak. He threw a glance at Excuse Osman’s face. Stood up, paid and left. Next day he did not come. Only the bad news came. We all went to his funeral. Members still believe he is somewhere in the club, watching ….