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Bridge & Humor: Edgar Kaplan VG Comments

Source: Marlboro Bermuda and Venice Cup Beijing, China October 8th – 21st, 1995

Edgar Kaplan was well-known for the witticisms he offers during the course of his commentary at a world championship. Here are a few of them:

Since I like to like the bids I make, I wouldn’t have made that bid.

I am willing to open 1NT with a five-card major with the right hand. It just happens that I’ve never picked up the right hand.

Anyone who jumps in partner’s suit with a singleton deserves what he gets.

One should never discard 200 points.

When my partner under leads ace-queen-jack, partner must want me to do something. Maybe he wants me to waste my brain power trying to figure out what he wants me to do.

Declarer has the opportunity to win 13 of the last nine tricks. Unfortunately he’s already lost three.

I’ve never felt the need to raise my partner’s suit with the singleton six.

It’s really unsatisfactory to guess wrong, so might as well guess right.

Where there’s eight there’s nine.

After Lambardi made the opening lead, Lasut thought and thought. He wound himself up so that he almost looked like a pretzel. Commented Edgar Kaplan, «If it weren’t for that finger going, I’d think he was asleep.»

Wolff, believe it or not, opened the South hand with 1 Q 8 7   8 7 5 2  A K J 9  Q J

which occasioned Edgar Kaplan to observe, «Notice that Wolff has the 8-7 of hearts, which allows for a certain degree of solidity.»

«Nowadays it’s considered vulgar to double for penalties.»

«I would probably reproduce the auction they had . . . but I wouldn’t like it.»

«He’s using the winner-on-loser play.»

A «slight» error on the result screen showing a result of minus 3300 led to this remark: «Down 33 is the kind of result you must respect.»

«When you are faced with a high-level preempt, you lose more points by passing than bidding.»

«Instead of going down at 2NT, he may make 3NT.»



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