Two men were playing bridge together and were just leaving to go home at 3:00 a.m.
Man1: You know what I hate about this?
When I go home. I turn off my headlights, turn off the engine, and coast into the driveway.
Then I go to the front door, take off my shoes and sneak in as quietly as I can.
But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.
Man2: What I do instead is drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, go in the house and slam the door.
Then I yell “Honey, I’m home,” run upstairs, slap her on the ass and say:
“How about a little love, woman?”
She never even moves.