Bridge & Humor: The Tramp

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A man was accosted by a particularly shabby, smelly man who asked him for money for dinner.

Winkley took out his wallet, extracted a fiver, and asked, 

«If I give you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?»
«No, I stopped drinking years ago,» the beggar said. 

«Will you use it to gamble or play bridge?» he asked. 
«I don’t gamble and I dont play bridge,» said the man.

«Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?» he asked. 
«Are you MAD?» said the beggar, «I haven’t played golf in 20 years!»

At which our viewer exclaimed, 
«Forget the money. I’m going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.»

The beggar was astounded.

«Won’t your wife be bothered? I know I’m dirty and I probably smell pretty bad too.» 

«That’s alright,» he replied, «I want her to see what a man looks like when he’s given up drink, golf, gamble and bridge.»