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Bridge & Humor
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HARD LUCK by CHARLES
GOREN
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For many years tournament
bridge players, at early
morning gatherings, have
revelled in the retelling by
Harry Fishbein of the story
concerning the Unfortunate
Responder. It seems this
character had been dealt a
hand of 7-6 distribution (both
minors), and partner, of
course, vigorously bid both
the other suits. "At the
level of seven," he bewailed,
"I had to take a preference
between two voids, and I
guessed the wrong one."
Another bit of master
minding is recalled as I
browse through some of my
archives to find the
following hand:
3 2
Q J 10 7 5
K 5
10 7 6 4 |
A
K Q J 10 9 7 4
A K 4
6 2
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West |
North |
East |
South |
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Pass |
Pass |
Pass |
7 |
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Dbl |
End |
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Between humor and pathos the
boundary line is frequently
undiscernible. There was a
touch of both in the story
that was told me in
connection with the above
hand. It was at a session
where bridge players had
assembled to tell of their
most unlucky experiences at
the card table.
(Have you noticed how many
bridge players have a
tendency to emphasize their
hard luck?)
It is a distinct form of
hypochondria. An ordinary
hypochondriac is one who
appears to enjoy bad health.
A bridge hypochondriac is
one who enjoys bad luck.
They appear to take a great
pride and to derive immense
pleasure from the claim that
they are "bad holders." It
is strange how easy it is to
forget good cards.
The narrator of this episode,
a gentleman well in the
grasp of Bacchus, submitted
this as an example of
unmitigated hard luck. His
words: "I held the South
hand and the bidding came to
me after three passes, so of
course I bid seven spades
(!). This was doubled by my
left-hand opponent. He led
the ace of diamonds and then
the ace of clubs. I was down
one. If he had led the ace
of clubs first I would have
made it."
The humor, of course, lies
in the complete confidence
with which he contracted for
a grand slam with three
losers in his hand and the
reference, in complete
sincerity, to the incident
as a case of hard luck.
The pathos of the situation
is the fact that the
declarer really was the
victim of a bad break. If I
were on lead, I would have
produced the ace of clubs.
Surely the declarer must
have a void, and since I had
only three clubs and five
diamonds, there was a better
chance that that ace would
live. Against me, South
would have made his seven
spades, and I would have had
a hard luck story to tell at
the next meeting of the
moaners club.
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