Bridge & Humor: Why do these things happen to me? by Alfred Sheinwold

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Alfred Sheinwold
Alfred Sheinwold

The Day – 29 Nov 1991

«Why do these things happen to me?» Unlucky Louie pleaded.

«What now?» I sighed, knowing I would hear about it whether or not I asked.aa

«We got to a good six notrump,» Louie began, displaying today»s deal, «and West»s spade lead was covered by the queen, king, and ace. Of course, I decided to take the safety play by playing low from both hands on the first diamond.»

«Very good,» I nodded. «You guard against West»s holding all four diamonds.»

Plays the Queen

«»Now what do you do,» Louie asked, «when you lead a diamond, and West plays the QUEEN?»

I laughed.

«Admit it,» Louie said. «You»d take the ace, just as I did, expecting an overtrick. And you»d go down, just as I did.»

«West applied a false carding principle.» I said. «Go ahead and play a card you»re known to hold, or will soon be known to hold.»

«Oh no.» Louie growled. «West was a beginner. He said he played the queen to force out the ace.»

«Well,» I said, «he succeeded.»

And Louie stalked away.