Bridge & Humor: Story of a Crooked hand


The Victoria Advocate – Mar 14, 1965

There is a story I enjoy reading from «The Fireside Book of Cards» edited by Oswald Jacoby and Albert Morehead and a reader has asked me to repeat the hand for this column. The story was written by Sam Hellman and the entire yarn is packed with humor, climaxing with the central character dealing himself a «croocked» hand.

He gave himself the AKQ of spades, the AKQ of hearts, the AKQJ of clubs and just to keep anyone from becoming suspicious he selected only the K J 9 of diamonds. With this holding he didn’t care what the other three hands might hold, so he thought-after all the whole bet was whether he could beat the opponents on the one deal.

It was Auction Bridge and he made an opening bid of 1NT, from his South position. Next chair West, overcalled two diamonds, Pass from North, Pass from East. The dealer celt no chagrin and simply bid 3NT, West passed. North passed, and now East bid four diamonds.

South still felt no concern and bid 4NT. West bid five diamonds, North passed, South had had enough and intending to draw blond, doubled the 5 diamond contract. West quickly redoubled. Now look at the hands:

  8 7 5 4 3
8 4

10 9 6 5 3 2

J 10 9 7 6 5 3 2
A Q 10 7 6
  J 10 9 6 2

8 5 4 3 2
8 7 4
  A K Q
K J 9

When the cards are examined, there is no work to make five diamonds, plus two doubled and redoubled over tricks. although there are but eight high card points in the East/West hands combined. If there is anyone who cannot see  how to make the seven diamonds, please let me know. The moral of the story may well be -don’t cheat.don't cheat