Bridge & Humor: Insult Cue Bids by Saul Bronstein

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Source: http://www.ny-bridge.com/post/insult.html

Janie’s bidding is different. Of that, there can be little question. For example, who else could have invented insult cue bids? When the opponents bid our suit, Janie bids their suit. It took me years to figure out that she does this simply because she is insulted, and the bid means nothing! Little did I know what this would lead to, in the Life Master Pairs:

Dealer South; None Vul

  J 4
A K 8
Q 10 8 7 5 3
J 7
 
K Q 8 6 2
Q 6 2

K Q 8 5 4
  10 7 5 3
J 10 9 7 5 2

10 3 2

A 9
3
A K J 9 6 4 2
A 9 6
 
     
West (Me)
North
East (Janie)
South
      1
1 2 3 3
4 4 Pass 4
5 6 Pass
7
Pass 7 The end  

The auction started innocently enough. I overcalled South’s 1 opening with 1, and North cue-bid 2 to show a strong diamond raise. Janie’s 3  was a routine insult cue-bid, and South showed slam interest with his cue-bid of 3.

Getting into the spirit of things, I contributed a second insult cue-bid, 4. North showed his ace of hearts, and South, encouraged, cue bid spades again!

By this time I really was insulted. And so I bid 5 thus creating the first recorded triple insult cue-bid sequence in bridge history!

There was no longer any question of the opponents reaching a good contract – it was fate that got them to 7 . Declarer studied the dummy for about a minute, then looked up and said quietly, «I can’t make this.»

Score one up for Janie – insult cue bids strike again!