1) When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you are playing bridge against Meckstroth-Rodwell a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

2) Bridge is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us focused and entertained.

3) That night he had to play a bridge tournament so in the morning before leaving home he decided to consult the online weather forecast: Weather forecast for tonight: dark

4) You can lead a man to play bridge, but you can’t make him think.

5) It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own bridge ignorance.

6) I’m an idealist. I don’t know where my bridge is going, but I’m on my way.

7) I haven’t spoken to my partner in years. I didn’t want to interrupt him.

8) There are only three things partners need in life: food, water, and compliments.

9) Your partner doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.

10) I’m writing a bridge book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

11) I would never die for my bridge beliefs because I might be wrong.

12) A pessimist is a bridge player who has had to listen to too many optimists bridge players.

13) In bridge we are all very ignorant. What happens is that we dont ignore the same things.

14) If you want different results playing bridge, do not do always the same.