Bridge & Humor: Edgar Kaplan’s droll wit as a Commentator


1995 Bermuda Bowl Bulletins-Beijing, China

We find Edgar Kaplan’s droll wit as a commentator quite refreshing. One the off chance you’ve missed a few sessions, here are his latest offerings.

Since I like to like the bids I make, I wouldn’t have made that bid.

I am willing to open 1NT with a five-card major with the right hand. It just happens that I’ve never picked up the right hand.

Anyone who jumps in partner’s suit with a singleton deserves what he gets.

Nobody doubles anything for penalties now a days.

One should never discard 200 points.

When my partner under leads ace-queen-jack, partner must want me to do something. Maybe he wants me to waste my brain power trying to figure out what he wants me to do.

Declarer has the opportunity to win 13 of the last nine tricks. Unfortunately he’s already lost three.

I’ve never felt the need to raise my partner’s suit with the singleton six.

It’s really unsatisfactory to guess wrong, so might as well guess right.

Where there’s eight there’s nine.