Bridge & Humor: In general, and in particular By Oren Lidor
Moses is 95 years old and still functioning! He goes to the swimming pool every morning, he shops by himself, still drives his car and… plays bridge once a week with
On 31 October, 2016 At 18:43
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Moses is 95 years old and still functioning! He goes to the swimming pool every morning, he shops by himself, still drives his car and… plays bridge once a week with his 3 “young” friends (Well… not really young, but young in their soul and anyway younger than he is).
That is how it went for the last 50 years, once a week, every time in another home.
Bridge has always been the “apple of discord” for him and his wife. Not only because when it was his turn to host, the house was full of people and shouting till the small hours, but also because every time after playing Bridge he was impossible!
His head was still in the game, thinking about the played hands, and his wife was simply unable to communicate with him. He was distracted and couldn’t manage to focus on anything whatsoever, for at least one day after playing bridge.
After last evening’s bridge session, Moses was thinking about this hand, which he managed to make:
South deals, none vulnerable:
Moises opened 1, and West said 2 showing a 5-5 or longer in hearts and a minor. After that N/S continued their bidding to 6.
West lead the Q. Moses won the A. He realized West was 5-5 in hearts and clubs. At first, he estimated that West couldn’t have a singleton diamond because West showed 5-5 in general and, in particular, he didn’t lead a diamond, which meant that it was more likely he would lead that suit with a singleton.
So Moses played two rounds of trump to verify his “theory” but after West followed to the second spade it was clear that diamonds don’t break nicely (2-5-1-5 or void in diamond).
So… if East has QJx there is a loser in diamond in addition to the sure club loser. What to do? He thought it over for a while before he found the solution: After the second spade round he continued with the K, throwing a club from dummy, heart ruff, AK (West discarded a club on the 2nd diamond) and then he played the J from dummy and the K from hand. West won the A but was end played: no matter if he continues with heart or club – Moses can ruff in dummy and throw his diamond loser from hand.
The Bridge finished at 2AM and as usual Moses kept on thinking about the hand while driving back home.
So much he was focused on it, that he forgot to stop at the red light and bumped into a police car.
“Are you drunk, Sir?”, asked the police officer.
“Drunk? No. I’m just old. I admit, I had a glass of wine during our Bridge play, but I doubt that without it my poor driving skills would be much better,” admitted Moses.
And where, might I ask, are you speeding like that at 2AM?” continued the police officer.
“I’m not really speeding. I’m a slow driver usually. But to your question – I’m late for a lecture on ‘Bridge, and its bad influence on marriage in general, and on my driving skills in particular’,” said Moses.
“Really? And who is giving lectures at this hour of the night?” asked the skeptical policeman.
“My wife!” answered Moses with despair.
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